Thursday, April 24, 2014
How many times do we say things happen for a reason? Responding to a crisis skype this early afternoon. Permission to share the content with our readers from Pam. Pam is like many mothers out there in our community. She is trying to find help and support for her teenage daughter who is struggling with a eating disorder. Pam's daughter appears to have a binge eating disorder. This is when the person will consume large amounts of food and can't control their eating. This is a serious eating disorder, and this writer has worked with many overweight males who struggle with this disorder. The latest research reports that 1/3 of people who are diagnosed with a binge eating disorder are males. I have worked with a few females who have this disorder. The mom reports that she can not get her daughter the help she needs and is exasperated. After 20 minutes of listening to her via skype she appeared to be less anxious. I began working our model with the mom, and tried to keep things positive. The mom was extremely knowledgeable of the binge eating disorder. Our time was coming to an end, when her daughter walked into her office. I heard the knock first then the voice. She introduced me to the daughter and we began to talk. As I could see the mom's expression, I felt a sense of positive relief from her body language. The daughter asked if I would like to talk to her soon. Then I heard a familiar buzz, a pager was going off from mom. She then needed to excuse herself and take the page. I knew then she was a physician. The daughter validated that point later in our skype. The mom came back and thanked me for my time. I asked both mom and daughter if they could do one thing for me, before we talked next time, if their would be a next time. They both said sure. I pushed my chair up closer to the monitor, and looked at each person. I then said, one thought at a time, don't make things bigger in your head, let the negative energy out, focus on now, right this second, let your thoughts be positive. Stay in your health, stay in the moment.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Life is about choices, you can choose to live a life with positive energy, or you can choose to live a life where you are putting all your energy into negative energy! Working with actors can be a learning experience to anybody, regardless if you are a helper. Their particular skill to me is fascinating. Amazing how they can entertain us non-actors. I got the referral from a peer out of California. At first I thought I was just going to be consult for addiction and help with the next step for a intervention and treatment. The actor had 45 days to get into some program, or their would be some ramifications with the next job he was contracted to do. We did 6 skypes, (ok to share) he is doing some out patient work during the evenings. Last Friday, he was given the opportunity to start back at work and continue with his acting career. He skyped with me this last Saturday, and said he was not ready for the job and wanted to continue with his out patient group work. I asked how he was able to form this decision. He reports that he needs to take ownership of himself. He continues that he will be the actor of his own life (writer and actor set a goal to put positive energy into himself before he could go play another person) reading affirmations, setting affirmations, reflecting on self, and journaling the urges and cravings. The actor wrote a 9 page journal entry before skyping with me on Saturday. Each page was filled with several reasons why he deserved to go get high, or he could get high with using peer group. On the last page, (number 9) he wrote what would happen to his current life if he did go get high. He then reported that he would have the opportunity to play a high character in his mind or a clean character in his mind. He chose to play himself, and put all his energy into where he was at that moment, when he wanted to get high. Going on 21 days of clean time. One thought at a time. He knows he can get high, but is choosing not to. Stay in your health, stay in the moment.
The other day I was working with a young teenager now turned adult. She was telling this helper how it feels good to be 18 and in charge of her life. I asked her how things will change now that she indeed is 18. I almost fell out of the chair. Seriously, her discourse was flowing into sub life components with detailed goals and objectives. I thought she was reciting our treatment plan for a moment. Then I respectfully let her continue with these well thought out ideas. She was looking at me for feedback with eye contact, and patience. Calmly, ( I was very excited to respond) but I had to think carefully and absorb all this information she was presenting. I began my words, when suddenly she blurted out the word, perspective. I go perspective? Yes, she says. I'm 18, and I have a different mind set now. In the back of my brain, I am going, (I'm really good at what I do, or she is starting to form her own perspective) either way, this is positive stuff. This particular client, (ok to share) would say no more then two sentences at a time with me for the last two months. In her words she was being forced to see me or go back to treatment. Our conversation in this session was all about perspective, how you look at things from afar, and right this second. This helper is heavily engaged in the here/now component, and tried to help her navigate through some difficult behaviors over the last couple of months. She wanted to look into the future, and what goals she was going to try and accomplish instead of looking at where she was now. We talked more about how she could accomplish her long-term goals and began to frame the steps needed to make this work for her. I dropped her off, and headed to my next city where other client sessions were awaiting. The phone rang, and it was her father. I have talked to him twice, he is having a hard time with his daughters challenges at this time. He has chosen not to engage himself in our family sessions at this time. He begins with a voice that sounds positive, and recharged. I for the second time today, almost fell out of my chair. Again, there were non-stop words flowing, and I listened, and listened. Five minuets of a father sounding positive, and supportive, while he was sharing his perspective with me. I thanked him for his time and words. Stay in your health, stay in the moment.