Friday, September 25, 2015
A great question from a parent via Skype. In this particular case, (ok to share) their son was a successful lawyer, going through a gambling addiction, and possible incarceration. The mother was checking in with me today, her son going on 10 months clean time, a former client. What do you do when the program is not working? Sometimes any program may not be the right fit for the person, it happens. I remember two years ago, I was working with this particular client and family. The family was upset with the lack of progress with the client. I spent many hours with this family, each member had its own issue. Six months had passed, and I decided to call another intervention with the client and family. The parents were outraged, and the client was more then non-compliant. As I ended the intervention, I suggested three possible avenues of support for the client and family. The family, (as it turns out- I just found out last month) went to each referral that I sent. Unfortunately, the addiction cycle was still present in the client and the family appeared to be struggling more. The client reached out a month ago. I fielded the call, and we talked. The family called the next day, to assure they had no interest in our services again. The client reached out that weekend. The family called me that Sunday night and told me each referral I sent them, the helper had referred them back to me! I asked why did they think this happened? The father explained that when they were interviewing with each therapist, all they did was talk about how Tod was the only one to develop a love/hate relationship with their daughter. The daughter spent two of the sessions telling the other helper how much she despised this writer, but missed the exercises, working out, laughing and yelling at this writer. The father continues with each helper asked what they could do for the client and family? The father then asked me if I would see the daughter again. I respectfully, said no. The father then firmly asked if I would see his wife and daughter. I respectfully, said no. This time, the father, looked right at my face, and asked very quietly, if I would see the whole entire family, with the daughter and start over. I respectfully said yes, on one condition. The father said, I know, we all need to complete our daily homework, and make all of our sessions. The point of this story, each person we try and help, along with their family will not always work. Sometimes this writer may be the wrong fit for the client and family, it happens. But, I still try and stay positive, using what did work and offer other people or services that may be better suited for the person and family. As I told the mother who I was skyping with, you have to be patient, but willing to see the positive. Stay in your health, stay in the moment.
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
I am blessed to be sharing some of our positive stories with all of you. I would like to thank this family for allowing me to blog. As summer comes to a end, and the leaves begin to change color, I find myself seeing new families outside of our state. This particular family, I want to personally thank for being flexible, and waiting until I could start services. The mother just got out of treatment, and the son was going into treatment. We did our intervention, a positive but emotional experience for all. Mom was struggling with enormous cravings post-treatment. Dad was doing all he could do to keep the family under a safe umbrella. The son, began to talk, and it was evident that he was in denial, (he later came clean with this on our private 1:1) but wanted to speak his mind. There was tension. They lived by the river, and we could all feel the breeze coming through the windows as the room got louder, and louder. I decided it was time to modify the intervention. I stood up in the kitchen and very softly asked everyone to follow me, no talking, no questions, just please follow me. I heard some f-bombs behind me, but soon, it was quiet. Now, mind you, I am not privy to the layout of this beautiful home, but I navigated on my own higher power to the deck, down to where we could see the water. I then turned around and looked at the family. They were sweating, but seemed more relaxed. We all sat down, and started again. This time, I could feel there was a breeze of respect lingering in the air. Everyone remained calm, and got a chance to talk. We then walked up the hill to the deck and back to kitchen. The son, got everyone something to drink, and we started to form a plan. Mom was going to see this writer, son was going to see this writer, and we began to plan out our schedule as I do with every client and family. I started to walk out, and say goodbye to each as the Dad walked me to my car. He gave me a firm hand shake, and thanked me for my time. I was no more then 2 miles down the road, and Mom called. Then the son texted me, and I knew the healing would begin for this family. Stay in your health, stay in the moment.