Jealously

This writer comes across this topic on a daily fashion with clients, parent's of clients, individual parents and individuals. Respectfully, I often believe that denial is some how linked to jealous behavior. What is the real reason why you are jealous? Sometimes it really has nothing to do with your perceived reason of why you are experiencing jealous behavior, but it may be tied to your own self. For example, many parents appear to be jealous of other people's kids. In reality, they may be uncomfortable or in denial of their own expectations. This happens all the time in my line of work. Client's get jealous of each other when when they are in group settings, residential treatment, and experience family jealously with siblings or parents. One of the tools that I use with people who are experiencing jealously tendencies is to define the thought of why they are jealous. Identify the core. That core appears to be a negative thought that self is having a difficult time letting go. Once the core is examined, then it is important for that person to see the positive. This is where some people really do not want to admit the positive. Think about it. If you are going to be jealous over something, that really after looking at it and identifying that it is really your own thought, and not someone's triumph, you have the power to recognize the positive. Give that person credit for accomplishing their goal, be happy for them. Self then will feel good about validating the other person, you may even receive feedback and that person will validate you! The negative thought you had just turned into something positive. We all want to acquire other peoples positive skills, but we need to look at our own strengths, and be able to accept our own challenges while letting the negative, jealous, thoughts go. Is it really worth the energy to be upset over something that in reality may be a positive for someone else? Don't deny your honesty. Clients need to work their own recovery for self, not try and duplicate other's recovery routine. As a parent be proud of your own child, and other child's successes. Stay in your health, stay in the moment.