Things happen for a reason- A higher power.......

Good morning recovery gamblers. Specifically professional sports gamblers. I fielded a couple of calls this weekend from non-clients. Each call was different, but the theme appeared the same. "Tod, I am bored." At first, I ran this through my mind, before I answered each person. My delivery remained constant to each person. I called this bored statement a higher power. Interesting, both of the callers picked up on this higher power right away. I was a little shocked. Quickly I decided to frame the next question out of support and help, right? A higher power is something that we can pray to, have faith in and allow us, (self) to reexamine our life and choices, maybe even ask our self if we do indeed have a gambling problem?

I almost fell out of a my chair, both callers felt the need to talk about this potential gambling problem. The "chase" was becoming the detour. I thought of this analogy on my own! I want to thank each caller for their time, but more importantly for being honest with where they are at right now this second. This dire moment in our sports world can become a positive for gamblers who are ready to address the situation. I call that a higher power moment. Things happen for a reason. Stay in your health, stay in the moment. Self-Balance-Higher Power-Fun

Reflection

How does one reflect? I received this great question yesterday with a new skype client. This is what I told him. Self-Reflection is a positive way to vent. Sometimes you may choose to share your reflection with someone you trust- another positive. The first thing I do, is find a safe place where I am able to focus on my inner health. No distractions, no tv, sometimes I like music on, but for the most part I try and let my mind drift. The key here, I do not want to be interrupted when I am reflecting.

Remember, this is not a Reflection Walk or Reflections Bike ride in mother nature. You want to be in a space where your mind can be free of all racing thoughts. Now, I like to replay in my head what challenge or positive I am reflecting about. I ask my self questions. I go back to our model, Self-Balance-Higher Power-Fun and realize reflections are a positive way to get in touch with myself!

Next I need to be honest with myself when reflecting. I can lay it all on the table as I was telling my skyper. Honesty is crucial when reflecting. If I am not honest with myself, how can I reflect. This reflection time is for me! I want to learn how to work through the negative energy and get to the positive energy. As you are writing things down in your journal, you will realize that clarity comes with being honest.

The reflection time is completed I tell my skyper. The final step is following through with your reflections. Commit to the reflection. You are able to make a positive decision with your reflections. Be effective in what you are trying to accomplish. I call this discipline and progress at the same time. When you make positive changes in your life, behavior, or are trying to stay in your health, you are creating balance.

Stay in your health, stay in the moment. Self-Balance-Higher Power-Fun

Cleaning a room

When I was a teenager, I was a hand full. You can ask my parents! However, I enjoyed organization. I liked things to be neat and clean! I found that cleaning my room was fun. I enjoyed it. I took pride in it. This am I had the opportunity to meet a 17 year old, who was struggling with life, which included his own bedroom. This story I am able to share, because, I helped clean his room! That was the deal I made with him. Together we cleaned his room and had a great session. I find cleaning therapeutic. He wanted nothing to do with this chore. He actually got frustrated with me that I was not going to take him to shoot hoops and chat. Instead we chatted while cleaning his room. It was a positive. My reflection is one that believes teenagers should always clean their rooms. Many of my clients have maids, or housekeepers, some even live in staff.  In our high school and college mentoring program we teach these skills! If you are a parent and your kid can't clean or does not know how to clean his room, teach them! Basic cleaning can be a positive way to help teenagers forget or distract their negative thoughts. Learning how to organize their belongings, and clothes is a positive. Teach your kids how to clean. Stay in your health, stay in the moment. Self-Balance-Higher Power-Fun

Putting the time in.....

I am one that fervently believes things happen for a reason. I was sitting in the office this am, and I get a call- imagine that! A voice from the past. I could not quite put the face with the phone call. Then it happened (I am old) my guy who runs a half-way house in Minneapolis for people discharging their custody sentence. I would do positive energy groups for the guys on Thursdays years ago. Within 30 minuets I was on my way to Minneapolis. I was able to donate some kicks! Six pairs to be exact. The young men who we were fortunate, (some had the same shoe size). Now I am a collector of kicks for those who know me. My kicks are literally brand new. The young men and an older guy who had my size of feet were forever grateful. Then I got to sit for their morning affirmations and spiritual reading. This was cool! Wow, I miss this group or being able to take part with these guys. A great moment. I got to chat with some of the guys, and before you know it, I am holding everyone back for their day! Putting the time in. Stay in your health, stay in the moment. Self-Balance-Higher Power-Fun

Instead of buying things talk about things..

Good morning from snowy Minnesota. I wanted to blog about this story a few weeks ago. Permission to share. Our client's mother got this call from her son. He was struggling at college, as many college kids do. I work with his younger sister. The son who is a junior in college, was having an epic meltdown. In the past, his mother always, (according to his sister-who I work with) would drop everything and try to make things right for hm. This behavior I see constantly with parents. In this case, the mom was trying to do her best and fix that problem, right? How many times do parents want to this with their child? Well, this fix was different. Instead, this mom decided she would listen to me, and invest communication over money. She was not saying that she would not help her son financially, but wanted to talk with him. The meltdown was not over financial stuff, but a meltdown with his current girlfriend. In the past, his mother would coddle him, try and buy him things that would help him get into a better place. Parents, I see this behavior daily. Parents want to fix their kids with unnecessary purchases. However, this is not the best option. College kids need a safe place to vent, and want their parents to listen to them. Everyone enjoys a nice dinner, or some new clothes, but does that fix the problem for the college student? No it does not. All it does is reinforce buying things that do not hit the root of the problem. I understand that some families are financially set and can afford to do some of these impulsive purchases, but does it really work? In my opinion no. Why not work through the negative energy with a positive talk? This mom, did exactly what we talked about. She called him back after talking to this writer. She listened to her son vent. She did not go rush to get him (like she has done in the past) but stayed calm. Her husband came home, and they all skyped with their son that night. The next piece of this story is key. The college kid son reached out to his sister that night. They had the best talk I am told. Not one penny was spent in trying to fix this problem. The college kid son patched things up with his girl friend and his mother shared that she felt empowered. Talk with your college kid first, then listen. Sometimes the best fix is just being there for your kid. Stay in your health, stay in the moment. Self-Balance-Higher Power-Fun

Crisis behavior with Adults

Good morning everyone. Monday's can be filled with unexpected crisis behavior from adults. This writer takes a breath, as I write this and a crisis is going on as I put these thoughts down. I stepped out on the deck in the middle of this mild winter, and felt the cool air on my face. The irony is the last four days have been filled with crisis with a couple of our clients and their families. I use these crisis techniques that I am going to share with you. The first thing I would like you to understand is that Adults can have crisis to. It is ok. If you are a parent and are having a meltdown, it is ok. This is the formula one can utilize when having a crisis as a adult. Trust me it works! Step one, take a breath. Seriously, take a deep breath, (I close my eyes) and breathe. I like to do this a few times. Step two, take a step (no pun intended) and get outside. Where ever you are. Please step outside and relax. Let the air consume your body! Step three, do not respond to the current crisis yet. Pause. You heard me correctly. Pause. Think about it. You breathe, take a breath. Then take a step outside. Step three, you need to think, or process without talking. What ever comes out of your mouth we want it to be in control, not impulsive, and most importantly you want to think before you speak. Step four, revisit the crisis with a calm voice. This is where you talk! This is crucial. We are not looking for a loud, angry, frustrated voice. You can implement a calm response while controlling your voice. I always tell people to control the thought. You have the power to control your voice. This technique will not only help the person who is in crisis, but will help you. If you are the person in crisis, reflect on these four steps, and practice. Relax, everything will work out when you are working on yourself. Breathe, step outside, pause with your response, and now deliver the response in a calm, controlled, collective manner. You are in control. Give yourself credit! You are working through this crisis by turning the negative energy into positive energy!  Stay in your health, stay in the moment. Self-Balance-Higher Power-Fun

College Crutch Visit

Good morning gang,

it feels like forever since I have been able to blog! One of my favorite things to do is blog about our program's experiences working with all different types of people. Many of you are familiar with our College Mentoring Program. This program I started year's ago. The other day I was with one of our College Mentoring students. He is transferring from his old college to a new college in his neck of the woods. We went on our college visit. I am on crutches, let us not forget that. It was 20 something degrees, and we are crutching around the campus. I am getting tired, extremely tired. I have to be extra careful, with each crutch, because of the ice! I have fallen 4x already this crutch season! Shh don't tell my doctor. My guy is a great kid. He is very helpful and extremely cognizant of my crutching abilities. Somehow we missed our section being called (nice work helper Tod) and had to find some of the college stuff on our own. Well, we made some wrong turns, and it was evident that I was slowing down and running out of energy! (imagine that gang). Anxiety could of been a major distraction as we were trying to find our way! This is where I want to give a shout out to my guy. He was in his health, and controlling the thought along the way! Then he decided to help this old guy out, (me) and make a game of how we were going to make it to our next stop, crutching in 20 degrees, ice at all the steps, and trying to motivate me. The game he dreamt up was trying to recreate a soccer game. He too was a soccer athlete. How cool it is to be working with a soccer kid, bliss! My guy was able to make my thoughts of being tired, exasperated, cold and out of energy into a fun, changing the thought experience. The college crutch experience was a hit! A super positive college visit. Two guys working together to accomplish the goal, regardless of what life throws at us! Stay in your health, stay in the moment. Self-Balance-Higher Power-Fun