Understand

Over the years I have found the hardest thing to do sometimes is to teach others how to understand each other instead of judging each other first. This premise became evident in our small group intervention yesterday. All parties agreed to share this story in order to help others who may be facing the same challenges in their life today. I have been working with this family on and off over the last four years. The mother, has been in many groups of mine in treatment. She recently found her significant other, and is working through her recovery while raising a adopted child who is very precious. Her significant other was married before to a male, and just recently realized her own sexuality. Both women are now starting a life together, working through each other's past challenges and trying to raise their child in a healthy, open, loving way. The first challenge started with self, and for each person in this interpersonal relationship to understand that they need to be clean, in recovery to be the best parent and partner for each other. Both women have been sexually abused, one has been servery raped five years ago, by her husband. Fast forward to the present day, both women are in therapy, and attend support groups, while working on their self each day learning to balance their thoughts, utilizing their higher power for more support, and finding fun in their life again. The family decided to enrol their beautiful son, who is in pre-school now into a private school, hoping their kid can be transitioned into a supportive school system that accepts all kinds of people, regardless of the sexuality of the parents. Both parents of this child are highly educated and hold productive jobs in society. One is a social worker, the other a lawyer. I got the emergency call over this last weekend saying that the school administration was concerned about the families, "well being" and they were not a school that promoted drug use, especially with what they labeled as "troubled parents". As I got the collateral information over the phone, and in our small group intervention I began to understand the school's reaction. They did not understand that people who go through recovery, and people who finally find their own sexuality that makes them happy with them self was a appropriate balance for their families, teachers, and administration of the school. My job was to educate the school, and let them know, respectfully, how to understand each other, and understand that self is able to grow when self is faced with adversity, challenges, but more important, when self can face it's past, and move forward in life. I talked to the vice principal of the school for 45 minuets yesterday via phone. It was amazing to hear the disconnect in our community on what erroneous assumptions are made from being gay, and working through recovery. I then was able to speak, and slowly construct a time line for this vice principal, and begin to educate this person on how to understand instead of judge regardless of one's own lack of ignorance. Both parents have been clean of addiction for two plus years, and both parents are staying in their health. There are two things that I would like you to understand about this story as I delivered my message to the principal. One, building healthy  interpersonal relationships for kids at school has nothing to do with their parents sexuality, or their challenges. Two, schools become stronger as a whole, when their staff, and kids, and parents, are able to educate themselves on how important it is to understand each other, and not judge, regardless of one's own opinion. Stay in your health, stay in the moment.