Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Facebook attention, for whom?

This last weekend, I got this message to call this person. The voice on the message appeared very young. As I dialed the number, I was thinking about what I would say if this voice was indeed that young. I make it a rule to get the parents permission, when I think the voice is younger then 18, for liability issues and protection. To my surprise, a older voice answered. I identified myself to the caller, and she immediately, responds that the message left with me, must of been her daughter. Respectfully, I asked if she would like me to talk to her, and how old was her daughter? She blurts out in a laughing way, she is 24, in college studying to become a nurse. Then all of sudden, I here the voice, and I am talking to her. Mom was just leaving for work, she apparently is a nurse to. The young lady introduced her self, (ok to share) and we began to talk. She has no addiction, no emotional mentoring needed, as I am surmising the information she is giving me. She explains her father and mother got a divorce a couple years ago- and she is concerned with her mother's clothing behavior on facebook. I took a breath, and asked her to explain what she meant. It turns out Mom is posting pictures of herself on facebook, that appear to her daughter as inappropriate, immature, and attention gathering. I could understand this concern, as a person who uses facebook, I too see this in some of my peers, specifically older moms who seem to advertise their life on facebook, but more importantly, they take many pictures of themselves and post. I thought it was important to explain what I do as a mental health professional before I go any further, and ask if there was any addiction behavior connected to this message. If there was not, I wanted to give this person to another helper who may be of more service in their field. She stopped talking, and replies that she is experimenting with her mom's depression medication. I asked her if she has a diagnosis of depression, she said no, absolutely not! She continues on to say that she is not anxious, or meets the criteria for any mood disorder. I then carefully, and cautiously, asked if her experimenting with her mother's scripts was providing her any relief with her anger towards her mothers facebook posting of pictures? I could tell right there after a long pause, that was the issue. Her mother was creating unwanted attention to her friends and herself with the pictures. This 24 year old college person, was self-medicating because her mom in her eyes was posting pictures, in her clothing, and getting many responses with her facebook friends, and mom's facebook friends. She replies that she takes the pills to forget about what she is embarrassed about, but it's not helping. We then talked about her college, and what kind of mental health services they offer to students. As we talked further, we made a plan for her to make a appointment with student services, and talk to a psychologist that works at the university. She appeared to feel better. Something still did not fit, I could not wrap my head over this conversation. I was missing something, this would not be the first time or last time that I felt something was more to the story. The conversation was coming to a halt, and I thought the plan seemed positive. Im searching my brain, what was I missing? I then thanked her for the phone call, and let her know she can reach out via email, or voice if she ever needed to. As I was hanging up the phone, telling her to not make things bigger, and being honest with self, balance her feelings and thoughts, use her higher power (which was her mom) and have some fun on her upcoming night out with nursing peers. She said, Tod, I am the one posting inappropriate pictures of myself on facebook, and I do not like the attention I am getting. My mother is worried that I am upset with my sexuality, I may be bi? I said let it out- all of it, keep going. Twenty minuets later I got the truth, her truth. Stay in your health, stay in the moment.

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