Body image and self-esteem issue paradigms our kids and
youth face today are by no means new. These concepts have been around since we
humans started wearing clothes, however, body image and the surrounding issues are
under an increasing media microscope and are becoming more of a hot topic. It
has been well documented recently that increasing rates of young people are
facing the perils of bullying, eating disorders, drastic measures to achieve
perfection, and in extreme cases, suicides of their friends due to the
abhorrent view some of our youth have of themselves. One does not have to look
far to find stories in the media surrounding this topic; a simple search in any
internet browser will turn up hundreds of articles. Rather than document those
here, I would like to touch on the primary undercurrent in all body image and
self-esteem issues which is a lack of self-confidence. What can we do as
parents and adults to raise confident and self-appreciating girls and boys
alike, verses continuing this epidemic of a society that promotes
self-depreciation? I believe that teaching three main concepts to our kids will
help: Celebrating what makes a kid unique, teaching proper nutrition and what
it really means to be healthy, and showing them that you, as their parent or
close adult, are the safest place to vent or discuss anything that may be
bothering them.
It is an unfortunate fact that the
vast majority of us suffer from unhealthy body image and low self-esteem at
times. Adults have many tools to combat these bouts of negative views of
ourselves, but most often, kids with these thoughts rarely make them known. It
may be a fear that they will be further ridiculed or have their thoughts and
views of themselves confirmed if they admit having them. Kids often internalize
things they may have felt embarrassed by. It can be as simple as someone in
their circle making a joke at another child’s expense to facilitate a pattern
of unhealthy thoughts. This often results in paradoxical extremes taken by our
kids to achieve a certain type of look, or to fit in. Eating disorders are a
common resort many youth fall into, and without proper support at crucial
times, can affect their life and health for many years to come.
If we celebrate what makes our kids
unique, and instill in them that it is perfectly fine to be explicitly them, we
start to sow the seeds in our kid’s minds that it’s ok to not always “run with
the crowd”. Most people, who are successful, find what makes them unique and
continue to develop that uniqueness to stand
out from the crowd. Standing out is what makes any celebrated personalities
in our society noticed. We can help our kid’s develop whatever makes them shine
and be the starting place of their own confident responses to any nay-sayers in
their circles.
Aside
from a unique, confident kid, a truly nutritionally and health-aware kid will
only help bolster the tool box you as a parent or adult can build. Eating
disorders in youth are on the rise and are recognized by mental health
professionals as one of the leading causes of young generation stress that
leads to unhealthily behaviors. While complex, the true crux of an eating
disorder is the desire for control of something when everything else feels out
of control. Young teens are especially susceptible as their hormones change and
they receive pressures to look a certain way from many sources. However, if a
youth is aware how to control what they put in their body, by making healthy
food choices through proper nutrition and having an active life style, they
will soon learn that proper eating and healthy activity help them feel good.
Finding a physical activity kids can be involved in on a routine basis and
helping them to make good food choices will help their overall mental
stability.
It’s
important that if you suspect that a child is experiencing unhealthy body image
or self-esteem that you do not let what you notice go by in silence or hidden
underneath an emotional wall. It may be easy to chalk up suspicious behavior or
comments to a growing attitude or a passing phase, but when a child is allowed
to let the unhealthy thoughts about themselves spiral in their own mind, with
an endless potential to grow and metastasize to affect their self-image, that
it is a fertile ground for things like eating disorders or other extreme
measures start. Trust your instincts and
challenge that concept from growing into something more severe. If you can’t
break through to your child, find someone or a health professional who can, but
continue to reiterate that you will not judge them and you are a safe place for
them to vent about anything that is bothering them. Even if you have to say the
message a hundred times, or hundreds of times, it’s something your child will
need to hear. A healthy support network around our kids will exponentially help
them to develop a healthy self-esteem and a strong confidence in who they are.
This
writer does not have all the answers, but as an adult who has had to grow out
of being a young person with many of the issues mentioned here, these things
would be what I wish someone would have helped me with when I was young. Celebrating
uniqueness, fostering healthy and active mindsets, and having a safe place to let whatever is bothering a mind out, I
feel is a good start to making a more self-confident youth. We all, myself
included, absolutely can do a better job as parents and
adults to let our children know they are only ever asked to be themselves and
that is the best possible outcome to have. Being self-confident and healthy will
help lead to a good mindset and body image throughout their and our lives.
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