Controlling the addiction

Working with gambling clients can be a difficult task at times. In this writer's opinion, gamblers are a rare addict, they have the ability to camouflage or mask their honesty, and appear to present themselves as in control of their addiction. When I see this behavior with clients or potential referrals (after the initial intervention) I use caution. We want our clients and referred patients to control their thoughts, and then their behavior. Trying to control the addiction as a compulsive or pathological gambler will not work. Gamblers present themselves as being in control, especially with their finances. Gamblers are notorious with fantasy thinking behavior, they seem to believe that their budgeting or financial situation is always under control just as their gambling is always under control. This dissociation with reality is part of the gambler's way of how they believe they are controlling their own addiction. Regardless of the type of gambler, (there are many types of gamblers) they continue to live out what this writer calls, the gamblers fallacy. Some days they control their spending, and may not even gamble, but it is only a matter of time, (the next hour, or next day) that they reward themselves for not gambling (validate this to themselves) by gambling again, the addiction cycle continues. The gambler is trying to control the addiction, instead of trying to control their thoughts. The impulsive thinking of the gambler is fueled by what they can win, or how they think the "big win" will bail them out and life will be good. The chase is on for the gambler. Unfortunately,  that fantasy thinking turns quickly into the gamblers fallacy, where reality is distorted and manipulated with insidious behavior for the gambler. Gamblers are only controlling their continued destruction of self. The interpersonal relationships between the gambler and others begin to crumble. The gambler is now avoiding his or her loved ones, and seeks to control the addiction. Spiraling out of control, the gambling usually hits rock bottom, (sometimes this happens more then once to each gambler) and the gambler is forced to step out of their fantasy thinking world. It becomes clear to the gambler that their own illusion of trying to control the gambling will not benefit them anymore. The path to financial, emotional and psychological despair magnifies the gamblers current situation. This is when the gambler begins to heal, acceptance is developing for the gambler, and being honest for the first time in the gambler's life starts to get better. Making amends with all the gamblers destruction behavior to people becomes a goal. They know longer are willing to try and control the addiction, but are ready to control their thoughts and begin to work on self.  One thought at a time. Learning how to identify their unmet needs and replace them with met needs. Addiction is the substitute satisfaction of an unmet need. The gambler begins to recognize the urges and triggers by understanding (as they play it forward in their head- and remember the past gambling behavior with consequences) they know they can gamble, but they are choosing not to. We want the gambler to find balance again with their own mental health, and start new activities, building new, safe, healthy interpersonal relationships. Exercise and mediation will play a pivotal role in self getting balanced. A higher power will help the gambler with their own faith, and understanding there is something bigger then self that can help navigate through life's struggles in a healthy met need. As the gambler works on self, learning how to balance their thoughts, and every day routine, their higher power gets stronger each day bringing fun back into their life. The gambler begins to have fun without gambling and will learn how validate their clean time with more clean time having fun in their life as they stay in the moment. The control of self is the transformation for the gambler to be mindful of where they are at right now in life! Stay in your health, stay in the moment.