What do you do when the program is not working?

A great question from a parent via Skype. In this particular case, (ok to share) their son was a successful lawyer, going through a gambling addiction, and possible incarceration. The mother was checking in with me today, her son going on 10 months clean time, a former client. What do you do when the program is not working? Sometimes any program may not be the right fit for the person, it happens. I remember two years ago, I was working with this particular client and family. The family was upset with the lack of progress with the client. I spent many hours with this family, each member had its own issue. Six months had passed, and I decided to call another intervention with the client and family. The parents were outraged, and the client was more then non-compliant. As I ended the intervention, I suggested three possible avenues of support for the client and family. The family, (as it turns out- I just found out last month) went to each referral that I sent. Unfortunately, the addiction cycle was still present in the client and the family appeared to be struggling more. The client reached out a month ago. I fielded the call, and we talked. The family called the next day, to assure they had no interest in our services again. The client reached out that weekend. The family called me that Sunday night and told me each referral I sent them, the helper had referred them back to me! I asked why did they think this happened? The father explained that when they were interviewing with each therapist, all they did was talk about how Tod was the only one to develop a love/hate relationship with their daughter. The daughter spent two of the sessions telling the other helper how much she despised this writer, but missed the exercises, working out, laughing and yelling at this writer. The father continues with each helper asked what they could do for the client and family? The father then asked me if I would see the daughter again. I respectfully, said no. The father then firmly asked if I would see his wife and daughter. I respectfully, said no. This time, the father, looked right at my face, and asked very quietly, if I would see the whole entire family, with the daughter and start over. I respectfully said yes, on one condition. The father said, I know, we all need to complete our daily homework, and make all of our sessions. The point of this story, each person we try and help, along with their family will not always work. Sometimes this writer may be the wrong fit for the client and family, it happens. But, I still try and stay positive, using what did work and offer other people or services that may be better suited for the person and family. As I told the mother who I was skyping with, you have to be patient, but willing to see the positive. Stay in your health, stay in the moment.