Expectations

What happens when things do not go the way you expected? A project at work gets delayed for what ever reason. Your child acts up in school and you can't believe the reason. Your relationship is not what you thought it would be. The person you confide in is not taking your side. The therapist does not understand you the way you want to be understood. When you think about it, expectations can take all of your energy just like that. Or do we have the power to modify our expectations? Sure you do. Self can adapt to any situation, if you set your mind to it. Things sometimes do not work the way we envisioned or planned. That is a fact. Instead of stressing why your expectation of something did not work or someone did not act the way you wanted, it is not a deal breaker. You can control how you want to react to the expectation that did not meet your needs. First, you need to acknowledge to your self that it is not worth the negative energy to get upset. Second, revise your expectation while understanding that it still may not work the way you want it, but you are trying regardless. Third, focus on how you are handling the expectation process in a positive manner which should boost your self esteem. Respectfully, it is ok to be frustrated when our expectations do not get met. But, it does not need to control our mood for the rest of the day. My clients tell me daily that their expectations of their family never are going the way they thought. Right there you can see the problem. Do not assume you can control your families thoughts or reactions. You control your own. This way you are able to be prepared for what ever. Interpersonal relationships with the people we love is another expectation that often gets us out of our health. Why try to control someone that you know will not work. A healthy expectation is one that can be modified at any time, and you still are able to stay in your health, not making things bigger. Expect what you can handle at this very moment. Stay in your health, stay in the moment.