Honesty

Self works so hard to be honest with self. In working with clients with addiction, this writer has found that honesty can be a positive break through for the client. The client who has or is struggling with addiction appear to be struggling with being honest with their self first. Addicts do not like to be called out on their honesty when they are using. The addict will build walls around their self, in order to keep the addiction cycle up. During this using behavior, the addict may even begin to believe their own lies, and have a difficult time separating what is true to what is being distorted or a fallacy. Some addicts create their own dysfunctional drama by being dishonest with their family, friends, and significant others. This dysfunctional drama behavior will increase as the addict continues to become pathological about their using behavior. How does the addict begin to be honest with their self when they reach this point? Everybody is different, or this writer likes to say, everyone has different levels of denial, right? When the addict is able to seek help, forced or unforced, the addict begins to realize through their own deterioration of health, and usually no place to live, they become physically ill and mentally are struggling. At this time, the addict has lost it's zest to use, and seems to be feel the shame, loss, grief, and overall exhaustion. The addict is ascertaining they need help. Regardless if it is non-voluntary. At this time, the addict begins to be honest with their self, at this very moment! Rock bottom, for some, is the first step in being honest with self. This is where self needs to understand how to stay in their health, and stay in the moment. This is very important. It is not about the past any more, or the future, it is about right now, and how that addict will begin to be honest with self. Once the addict can begin being honest with self, the addict will show signs of being honest with the others, particularly, the one's where amends will need to be made. Honesty begins to be the pillar of recovery through self when the addict begins to recover in a healthy way. The addict starts to validate self by telling the truth, and working through their struggles. The addict will always struggle, but will glean to struggle in a healthy manner, not going back to the unhealthy struggling behavior where honesty was absent. As the addict gets clean time, honest behavior continues to grow. I have recognized when working with clients who begin to be honest with their selves, they instantly demand honesty with others. This expectation can be grossly unmet for the addict, if their support from their family, or other person is not being honest back to the client. Respectfully, the addicts honesty is only for the addict, it will benefit the family, or whom the addict is trying to make amends, but not everyone will validate the addict the way the addict will want to be validated. Addicts are brutally honest when in recovery. Stay in your health, stay in the moment.