Sex can wait!

Addiction is a substitute satisfaction of an unmet need. When we jumped into the addiction cycle we were chasing our unmet needs hoping to find that our addiction would be the saviour or meet our needs.  Impulsive behavior was the catalyst. Now that we are in our health, and in the moment, we can see that this negative behavior did not work, and only made things bigger in our life. When it comes to sex, some of the same principles apply. First we need to recognize that if we are clean, we have the ability to make positive decisions around our sexual desires, and not be influenced by the addiction behavior that haunted us in the past. This is a positive. We glean how to control the impulsive behavior. Next, we need to understand that building healthy interpersonal relationships does not start with sex, as the first component. Sex can be a wonderful thing, when self is ready! Learning to like yourself and love yourself is primary. Use your time alone to find where your challenges are in understanding what you need to be happy in life. Learning to control your sexual behavior is positive and rewarding. Take time to work on yourself, and then build healthy interpersonal relationships. When self was self-medicating, purging, gambling, and having unhealthy sexual experiences it is difficult to construct positive relationships. Timing can be everything when intimacy is present. Don't be co-dependent on sexual behavior, or think that sex will solve all of your problems. The more time you have to build yourself, control your urges and cravings, work through struggle alone, you become stronger as a person. You are meeting your needs in a healthy way! This has nothing to do with sex at this time in your life. Friendships can be a wonderful tool and met need which does not include having a sexual relationship. Some of your best relationships can be the one's where there is no sex! One thought at a time, do not rush things for yourself. Balance these thoughts and make positive decisions that will help you understand where you need to put your energy. Your higher power can guide you and provide support for you any time of the day, but you have to use it! Fun can be anything you want when you are in control of your self, and your behavior. Sex can wait, for when you are ready, on your time. Stay in your health, stay in the moment.