Families of addicts

Sometimes we forget that we are not the only person hurting from our addiction behavior. We want to assume that once we are clean, that all of our past mistakes will be forgiven. Self is starting over. However, our families may not be ready to start over on our terms. Families may still be struggling with what we have put them through, and may not be sure of our commitment to stay clean. Self can become angry, and upset with our families. This writer can respectfully confirm that a majority of clients relapse when self is unable to understand their families grief and anger. The addict will work very hard to make amends for their poor past decisions, but the family is not ready to accept the amends. This is not a unhealthy behavior for the family or the addict, but reality. Time is the important factor here. The addict will need to learn that he or she cannot predict the future for his or her family to come around and validate self. That validation will need to come from each family member on their own time table. This writer calls this process, acceptance. Sometimes, family members will not validate the addict in the way the addict would like to validated. At this time the addict will make a choice. How healthy is that relationship with that family member? The addict has to stay in their health, and stay in the moment for their own recovery. But, the family member also will need to stay in their health, and stay in their moment in order to begin a new relationship with the addict. Families of addicts may be struggling with their own feelings and their own self for that matter. Many times addicts will complete their addiction treatment in a residential treatment center and be ready to come home. Home may be living with a family member. The addict is not ready for the family member to unload their past and current feelings to the addict. This happens all the time. It is important that that the family member and addict work together in developing a new, trusting, positive relationship which will take time. Family counseling and therapy is a positive way to bridge this gap between addict and family. Stay in your health, stay in the moment.